DWTS Week 8 Janet Jackson

After two epic weeks of great music this was a letdown. I’m sure Janet Jackson is a great entertainer and has won more accolades than I have, but she’s not my generation’s music. I mostly know her as Michael’s sister who had her tits exposed at the Superbowl. I didn’t recognize a single song they used during the program. I have to give props to the music people that they only went with jazz once and the rest were ballroom oriented, even if the music wasn’t. I mean Feedback doesn’t resemble a salsa in any form.

We’re getting to the part of the season where my misanthropy comes out full force. I just get annoyed when good dancers are sent home and stumblebums are retained. If the bottom three had been lined up and the judges were told to save one couple, I feel sure it would have been unanimous for Olivia. I understand people might hate her mother, but it’s hard to believe that people wouldn’t vote for her because of that. And she has Val. People should vote for her for that alone. He’s the God of Dance. And she’s what the competition should be about. She and Melora are the only two of the top six with no dance experience. And they were going gangbusters. Minus the stupid public I was giving Olivia an even chance of winning the whole shebang.

And in what alternate, bizarro universe is Iman a better dancer than Olivia? Or Mel C or Kenya or even Jimmie? He’s not. He lumbers around stage like Herman Munster and bobble-headed idiots vote for him week after week. That’s my problem with DWTS. They let idiotic people vote. The public has shown time and again that they are incapable of making rational decisions when given an opportunity to vote.

Aside from the awful results, last night was mostly ho-hum. None of the dances wowed me, some were a snooze.

I don’t know if it’s serendipity or prophetic that the top four dancers from the first round (three 40s and a 39) were not pitted against each other in the dance off, and each won their second round.

 My thoughts on the dance offs.

Jimmie versus Suni in salsa

He started right in from the first note, working it in his Jimmie style. Suni stood around like she was wondering what happened. Throughout the first half of their song Jimmie was dancing his heart out, but every time it cut to Suni we would see Sasha doing something fancy and Suni standing there watching. He finally let her do some acrobatics (that’s not actually dancing). By the end she was dancing in that awkward way she has. I had to give it to Jimmie. The judges were blind and gave it to Suni.

JoJo versus Olivia in rumba

JoJo was dancing too hard, rather than graceful as rumba should be. And what was with all the weird faces? Olivia was grace personified but kept tucking her chin. I gave it to her as a slam dunk. Once again, the judges missed the obvious winner.

Melora versus Iman in foxtrot

She was divine and he was just plain awkward. Melora by a mile. It was almost embarrassing. Even the judges had to see this one right.

Amanda versus Cody in cha cha

At first, I figured Cody was in for a drubbing against someone like Amanda, but he came through. I was pleased to see he had no heel leads. Amanda didn’t seem to care much about technique. I called it a tie. Of course, the judges missed it by a wide margin.

Of the three “perfect routines”, I liked Amanda’s the best. Even though it was jazz. There was plenty of jazz hands going on, but she owned the floor. She brought it like nobody’s business, and I loved the lifts.

Suni, on the other hand, lacked fluidity and sexiness. It was so jerky, kind of like all her dances recently. There was a definite misfire on the rear leg lift that the judges either didn’t see or ignored. Actually I don’t know what they were watching. Maybe they were watching America’s Got Dance on their cell phones.

Melora was a little better. She’s got some spice for an old gal. I liked the wicked skirt work, but it devolved into flailing. Looked like she was running out of steam at the end. And what was with the Oscar speech?

JoJo in fourth place on the board was a new experience. I was impressed with her strength. Those tiny dancers are all muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. I saw almost no salsa content, but then the song wasn’t even close to being a salsa. What she did was fun, though.

The doomed Olivia had one of my favorite dances. Val is at his best in Argentine tango and foxtrot. I loved the sharp flicks and rondés. And that opening dip was outstanding. I knew Len wouldn’t like the table and Val knew he wouldn’t like the table. It didn’t add much, so why do they goad Len like that?

Cody’s come out of nowhere the past few weeks to make himself known. I credit Cheryl. She can make anyone look like a dancer. I loved his form. I kept thinking what a mess Iman made of his paso and how Cody embodied it. Len got it right when he said it was “dominant”. He had power, presence, and menace. His best dance so far.

I have no idea why Iman is still here. He is way out of his depth. There was very little cha cha going on in his take on Rhythm Nation. He did some hip-hop groove thing about as well as grandpa at the wedding, but in hold he’s just awful. Derek proved that Witney doesn’t have the brainless blond moniker cornered. His best line: You gotta be memorable ‘cause that’s what people remember.

Poor Jimmie just couldn’t make it any longer. He was definitely feeling the funky stuff in his cha cha, but the heel leads were awful. I liked the side by side, but he was stiffer in hold than I’ve ever seen. Sorry to see him go, but it was time.

So we’re down to six and next week is the “semi-finals”. Are they doing another double elimination or going into the finals with five couples? They’ve never done that before. It’s always been three or four couples. And I haven’t heard what next week’s gimmick is. All they’ve missed so far is the My Most Miserable Memory weeper. I desperately hope we don’t get that.

It looks like Suni, Melora, Amanda, and JoJo are squaring off for the mirror ball. Suni has the Olympic crowd, JoJo has the Disney kids, I have no idea who follows Amanda and Melora. Amanda is daytime TV, so I guess housebound people see her. Melora was (is?) on a weekly show so people saw (see?) her at night. I don’t know what show she was on or if it’s still on or available in reruns.

Personally, I like Amanda. Suni just looks awkward when she dances and has this weird jerky thing going on. Melora seems to edit her moves, perhaps saving energy. JoJo is just too hyper for me. Watching her is like eating a fried twinkie rolled in sugar.

In the best of all possible worlds, next week would be another double elimination and they’d send home Iman and Suni. I want my homeboy Cody to make the finals.