DWTS Week 6

10-19 20

Mixed bag with a scare at the end. Let’s take this apart.

First off, it was apparently My Most Miserable Memory night, where they all tell maudlin tearjerker stories to make us feel for them.

And Tyra’s opening outfit. They must really hate her. How wide are those hips? Those pants do her no favors. And the top seemed to be a burlap bag with some sequins glued on.

The highlight of the night had to be Derek’s tour de force performance, reminding us of why he has six glitter ball trophies. I only have three words to describe it. O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s what I came to see. I was covered in a musical frisson chill from the opening note. Fast and hard (like Bruno likes it). Part paso, part flamenco and all awesome. I would pay to see that every day. Yow!

Interestingly, the Derek performance kind of kicked the show into high gear. The six performances before him were pedestrian at best. The five after were sparklers.

Best of the night. AJ and Cheryl. OMG the boy’s got game. He killed it! I was wooting and jumping around the room cheering him on. He was giving out sass like nobody’s business. He could give Johnny lessons on how to be fabuloso. It was a real live samba. 10

Jeannie and Brandon gave me a rumba with some teeth in it. Strong, sharp, deep, emotional and sexy without being sex. So many gorgeous lines. I got some minichills. Brandon’s choreo has never moved me before, but he has improved. Loved the costuming and I want his shirt. She was robbed in the scoring.

Justina (and Sasha) was the only one of my favorites to make a mark tonight. Her VW was so beautiful. A few too many hard edges and I could have done without all the feathers but still, so beautiful. As Bruno said – Radiant.

Chrishell and Gleb got to do a dance that he excels in. I’ve always liked his contemporary. It always touches me. This was no exception. Wow. Gorgeous movement. The song moved me and the dance made me cry.

As for Kaitlyn and Artem’s samba, I didn’t see it the way the judges did. I liked AJ’s much better. Granted, AJ’s was choreographed to show off the man, whereas hers was choreographed to show off the woman and I liked his moves more. I think the content of his was superior. She’s good and will continue to move up and AJ’s days are numbered. But tonight went to him. And what’s with Artem’s pants? Are 1950s high water pants coming back in style?

Then there was the first half of the show which was an unmitigated mess. If you tuned in just as Derek was getting started, you missed nothing.

It started with my two favorites doing absolutely awful dances.

Johnny looked like he stumbled or got off time at the very beginning but picked it up and gave us Johnny face. He was totally sassy. But to me, salsa is supposed to be sexy with the woman being feminine sexy and the man being macho sexy. With the hose and fringe skirt Johnny missed the macho boat. Call me old fashioned but ballroom has conventions, traditions and expectations. One of them should have been wearing pants. Carrie Ann called them on it rightly. Now they’re doing instant voting I think America showed what they thought of his costume. The envelop can be pushed, but only so far.

Nev and Jenna were disqualified for failing to do ballroom. I came to see ballroom. They just jumped around like a pair of idiots. It was athletic, but nothing else. At that point I was 2 for 2 in disappointments.

Skai and Alan. What the hell were those costumes about? He was a zebra and she had on a blue tutu and wig they must have grabbed off a hooker down on Santa Monica Boulevard. I thought next week was Halloween. As for the dance, yeah she screwed it up. Aside from that, it had no hip action because she has no hips. I figured she be one of the bottom two and the judges would of course save her. I don’t know why they feel the need to fawn on her.

Vernon and Peta were a bright spot in the first half. Their routine had some cha cha and a lot of Vernon’s special dance. In the cha cha he was wooden and jerky, but when he did his thing he was selling it. He was having a blast and it was nice to see him have fun. Carrie Ann got it right that he’s easy to watch because he loves dancing. And now I know what happened to that hideous sofa that used to be in Grandma’s parlor.

Val danced a beautiful rumba and Monica held on for dear life. Nice hip action and extensions, but most of the moves were simple. My problem was her face. Her smile was not real. It was so obviously fake that it kept distracting me. I did like that the dance was romantic rather than vertical sex. I don’t know. Maybe she felt weird about dedicating it to her husband and then getting intimate with another man.

Nelly and Daniella got ridiculously high scores from the judges. I loved what Daniella did, she almost achieved escape velocity with her Viennese. But she was dragged down by Nelly’s dead weight. The opening sequence he did well, with flow and arms. But when the feet got involved it was a mess. At least Derek called him on it. He was my choice to go. Well, actually my choice to go was Skai but I know that’s not going to happen.

So nothing much happened tonight except they let Vernon go. I had decided that he and Nelly needed to be next. Maybe they’ll boot Nelly next week.

I still say the best dancers are a two-way tie for first with Johnny and Nev, and Justina a close second (or I guess that’s actually third). I don’t particularly care for Skai and Kaitlyn is good but not stellar, but I see them as spoilers since they have incredible fan bases. Next week is Halloween and that’s usually a good time. Looking forward to it.