I’m pleased to announce we made it through the first night of Disney without any awful dances. Some of them may be counted as a series of unfortunate events, but the only thing truly dreadful was Tyra and her wardrobe. That monstrosity she came out in made her hips look as big as my grandma’s wide-butt washing machine. I’m taking bets that tonight she comes out as Cruella de Ville.
The ladies have taken over the show this season. The bottom seven were all the men plus Kenya. Jimmie did get a bump over Mel C. when he got the 2 extra points for the bizarre Mickey challenge. The highest scoring male was The Miz. For some reason, I love The Miz.
The two unarguably worst dances of the night were Brian Green and Matt James.
Maybe Matt should have defrosted his Frozone before putting it on the floor because it was the stiffest Quickstep I’ve seen recently. The silly outfit did him no favors, just showed off his big booty, and the insertion of the Mickey moves was awkward at best. Yuck.
Brian’s waltz was not impressive. The waltz is supposed to be romantic and Brian and Sharna claim to be in love. I see no evidence of it in this dance. It was flat and flavorless. I’m with Bruno in thinking it should be more. Technically he had no rise and fall, and they both flubbed the Mickey move. He never clapped under his knee, and Sharna only swatted her hand at her knee. Much as I love Sharna, these two guys need to be the next to go. I imagine Bachelor Nation swings more clout than old 90210 fans so I expect it will be Brian getting the boot. He and Sharna can snuggle at home and watch the rest of the season.
I truly wanted to love Cody’s jive. I mean he’s our homeboy and has been battling Covid. Who doesn’t love an underdog? But alas, it was a disappointment. It lacked the energy of a jive and was short on content. Like the judges I wanted more kicks and flicks. If you have a few minutes here’s a look at what I expect from a jive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWarrvF4nSE
Kenya’s contemporary routine was utterly forgettable. Brandon showed off and outdanced her. The transitions were rough and the choreo was pedestrian. Twenty-nine points was too kind.
I really like Jimmie Allen and Emma as a pair. They seem to be fun together. It’s a shame he won’t make it very far. He’s got great dance instincts. From his earlier rumba I knew he was good at lines and had great shaping. I thought paso doble would be his dance. Emma just didn’t give him enough to do. I liked how they worked in the Mickey moves and made them actually look like paso, but in the end it lacked the passion and aggression, the subtle menace that paso requires. Jimmie just isn’t scary enough. And what’s with all the tears? He’s cried on three of the last four shows. Maybe that’s why he’s in country music – all the songs are sad. On a side note has anyone else noticed that he and the hip hop dancer Fikshun (got his start on SYTYCD) must have been separated at birth? They could be twins.
Iman surprised everybody, maybe even himself, with his performance of the foxtrot. He was so graceful and light on his feet. His body just sang with the music. Until he and Daniella came together. Then he hunched over to make up for the height difference and stuck his butt out. He began clomping and lost all semblance of body flight. That ruined the dance for me. But I did like his backstory. Dr. Shump delivered his own kids. I can understand the first time, but the second was more like a Britney Spears Oops I Did It Again.
I love The Miz. I so wish he could make the finals. He’s the best male contestant this go round. And he’s so personable. He comes across in the wrestling world as a villain, but it’s so cool when you find out the villain has a heart of gold. Kind of like a few years ago when Jerry Springer gained redemption on DWTS. So his Quickstep wasn’t the most graceful ever and there were weird little baby steps at the beginning, it was so much better than the other blue guy. What’s the deal with Quickstep and blue? The Miz is such a showman and really sold it. He makes me laugh. And he moves so well for a big guy. Love me some Miz.
Mel – Jazz. I don’t do jazz. It’s not ballroom. From what I could tell it was a frenetic mess and Gleb needed to wash his face.
Amanda had one of the best dances of the night in my opinion. She made the rumba romantic and sexy without it turning into vertical sex. They even made the weird Mickey moves look elegant. But that last little jump was way out of sync. Just a few seconds into the dance they did a series of synchronized turns that made me shout. It was so cool. Loved it. But why was Alan wearing his Pirates of the Caribbean pants and not a Ron Ely style loin cloth/mini-skirt?
Val looked great in his samba with Olivia. Great hip action. Now she needs to do the same thing. I loved the samba rolls and real samba moves. It made me smile, but it was all about him. She’s got the makings of a top-notch dancer but he needs to make her do it rather than grandstand and drag her through.
JoJo’s Viennese waltz was nice but it never reached escape velocity for me. It was clean and sharp but lacked something. Maybe it’s just that I’m old fashioned and think every dance couple needs a Y chromosome. A quick internet check reveals there is a whole culture of same gender couple dancing, even competitions. I remember a few years back a same gender couple (men) tried out for So You Think You Can Dance. They were not very good. Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy made fun of them and said some rather homophobic things. He actually apologized on air the next week for what he said, but it was perfunctory rather than heartfelt, just because of the producers. So I know JoJo has faced challenges since coming out, and I applaud her courage. Someone sent me a TED talk some time back that went over Liquid Lead. It was about a way of dancing that switched the lead back and forth between partners. Rewatching it has given me a better perspective on appreciating JoJo and Jenna’s performances. I recommend it. Maybe JoJo and Emma should try exchanging leads. I bet it would wow the judges and the audience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mq-HqRnngc
Melora was the surprise of the night. That was a Quickstep for the ages. It’s how the dance should be done. Kudos to her and Artem. But I’m not all that surprised at what Artem can do with a partner. He’s won a mirror ball already. I loved the Roaring Twenty’s flavor of the dance and how Melora kept up with Artem’s energy. I absolutely loved it and it was probably the best dance and my favorite of the night.
The season is still young and it’s any woman’s prize to take. Sorry guys, but y’all are out. Melora may be a flash in the pan. We’ll have to see. If she keeps it up, I see a four-way run at the title between JoJo, Amanda, Olivia, and Melora. Suni could step up her game and make it a contest. And Amanda or Olivia could fade in the back stretch. The only thing I feel certain about is that JoJo will be in the finals. Let’s see what happens tonight.