DWTS Week 8

This just in. I have sold another story. “The Haint” will be in Page and Spine (online only) on November 6. Go to https://www.pagespineficshowcase.com/index.html and select Outta This World. But wait until November 6.

11-2-2020

The weeks go on and Tyra’s wardrobe gets weirder and weirder. I can come up with no words to describe the yellow monstrosity she came out in last night. Kind of like a Piss Bridezilla. And then the chartreuse bathrobe kept making my TV buzz.

Carrie Ann must not pay attention to tonsorial sites, or she would realize that her do is recognized as the international sign of a bimbo. Jean Kasem (Casey’s wife) pioneered it and made it famous. And was the purple stripe on Derek’s arm signifying anything?

Anyway, on to the dancing. And it was wall to wall ballroom. Yay! No need for extraneous diatribes today (although there may be some).

I hope everyone noticed that at the end of the night the top of the chart were Nev, Johnny and Justina, just as I have said all along were the best.

Sorry about Jeannie Mai’s problems but sometimes people have to withdraw. I thought last night would be Chrishell and Nelly. Looks like Nelly got a reprieve but next week, hopefully. In his rumba I can’t be sure what he did but I’m in love with Daniella. Wow, what a dance. I’ve always loved that song and her explosive starts and stops, fasts and slows, and uninhibited hairography just sent me over the edge. He stood around unobtrusively, not getting in the way of things, stage managing and may even have half heartedly led a couple of moves. His instant cha cha at the end was unmemorable at best. He dances like an old man at a wedding afraid he’s going to disrupt his hernia truss.

But let’s talk about the good stuff. Once again Nev and Justina were shining lights. Johnny, not so much. I can’t decide which of the front runners I liked best.

Nev and Jenna did a Viennese Waltz that was perfection. So lyrical and poetic, it was ethereal that morphed into a romance. I absolutely loved it. I can’t be sure but I think I detected a stumble early on and he stepped on her dress, but none of that detracted from the beauty. 

But another couple almost stole the show with their VW – Chrishell and Gleb. Where did that come from? Wow! Hard driving, emotional and erotic as hell, three of my favorite dance styles. I’m not sure of her performance because I was so swept away by the choreography, but I guess that means she didn’t blow it. I got to say it again – so moving and so, so sexy. That crab scramble was wild. I had to rewind and watch that routine again. Wow. Just wow. The judges went yadda yadda about inconsequential things while I tried to get my heartbeat regulated. 8 was way off the mark.

Justina and Sasha. I’m not sure she should be allowed to do the Latin dances since she’s been doing them since birth. But, wow, was that a samba! She just owned it. It felt like the music had been slowed down. I’ve got three versions of Magalena on my ipod at three different speeds. This sounded like the slowest. It kept her from looking lively and crisp. Loved me them samba rolls.  Chills. And then she flashed us when Bruno said it was the full Monty. I about spit my soda across the room. As Derek said, she’s just so fun to watch. I  love Justina.

On the other hand, I thought Johnny and Britt bombed. I didn’t care for it one bit and it’s mostly on Britt. The choreo was totally pedestrian. Is that all she could come up with? It was so basic and really did nothing to showcase the athleticism. And I don’t know if she drilled him on this or not, but she should have. Heel leads. I didn’t see a single heel lead the entire dance. He stepped forward on his toes every time. I thought sure at least Carrie Ann would call him on it. He got away with it. It was really annoying me. Completely lackluster. And I hated the high-water pants.

Kaitlyn and Artem got dissed by the judges. It was fun and she sold it by smiling and looking like she was enjoying herself – finally. I loved the music; my toes were tapping the whole time. Only a brief nod to kicks and flicks, though. That was a big disappointment for me.  They should have scored higher, though.

I have to agree with the judges that AJ’s rumba was non-traditional. It had a lot of contemporary moves rather than typical rumba. I’m surprised because Cheryl’s not known for risk taking. It was effective in my opinion. All the roughness and fighting conveyed a powerful message. And I disagree with Carrie Ann. Old guy can move those hips. I’m with Derek. It worked.

Skai and Alan. As far as I can tell, she killed it. It would be nice if she had an adult body instead of a humuncula to do it with. I’m about ready to call Child Protective Services on Alan for perving over a child. She still needs to fix the mannequin face when she’s dancing.

I was originally excited that they would be doing two dances, thinking each pair would have two choreographed routines. As the clock slipped away and time grew short I knew they had something up their sleeve. The dance off was not as satisfying as an entire routine but it was still fun.

Cha Cha: Nev-Chrishell-Nelly

Nev couldn’t have asked for a better group to be in. He outshone them so much. My fave in their grouping, however, was Daniella. She just set the floor on fire. But of course it was already smoking from Gleb. Man that guy can move. As for the celebs, Nev was running away with it. With Gleb coming out right behind him I could compare them. Nev doesn’t have the hip swivel of Gleb (who does?) but his leg work, foot placement and sharpness were all comparable. He’s just a damn good dancer. Chrishell was just fumbling and Nelly was showing his age. I want Gleb’s red shirt.

VW: Justina and Johnny

This was a good chance to see two of my faves head to head. Looked like Johnny took it. His sharper edges worked better with the music. Justina just looked tired and klunky.

Samba: AJ-Kaitlyn-Skai

So much fun. My favorite had to be Artem – such motion. And I want that blue shirt. Second was Alan with the rolls and I like the navy-blue silk shirt, too. As for celebs I liked Kaitlyn. Either she moved her ass or Artem moved it for her, but it rocked. AJ looked too much like an old man. And poor Skai tried to do the tit shimmy and was a total failure. It looked so silly. She’s got nothing to work with. Samba needs to be juicy and she’s so dry.

I was so glad to see Skai in the bottom two and was yelling at my TV “Dump her! Dump her!” Alas, they either couldn’t hear me or are still beset by their personal dementia. At least judging by the scores they are starting to see some chinks in her armor. She’s just not the same caliber as the top three.

Nelly needs to go next week. Then in a perfect world Kaitlyn would go leaving Nev, Johnny, Justina and Skai for the finals. But in the real world, in two weeks even if she is in the bottom two, they’ll save her. So it’s anybody’s bet who’ll be around for the finals. Kaitlyn has Bachelor Nation voting for her and Skai has all the Disney kids. Looking at simple ability, though, I’m giving it to Nev.

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