DWTS The Finale

11.23.20

I loved the opening number. That is what I have sooo missed. Pro with pro. Now that’s dancing – what a feeling.

Only one word for Tyra’s first dress – OMG. It was something I would expect to see in a drag show. Actually I was walking today and came upon an outcropping of toadstools. I pressed one with my foot and this nasty looking powder came out that looked just like her dress. The second dress looked like she stumbled into a paint display at Home Depot. And what was up with the stars on her head?

The first four dances were all recognizable ballroom dances. Yay. Kaitlyn and Artem kicked it off with an Argentine tango. Nobody tangoes like Artem. It is definitely his dance. He proved he reigns supreme once again. Great tango face, too. Both of them. The squat rondé thing was great and that lift and around the world whatever you call it was beautiful. Still, I didn’t get the tingles the judges seemed to get.

I am still puzzled how Nelly and Daniella got into the finals. I didn’t realize he still had that much of a fan base. I thought rappers had a short shelf life. And he’s 46, old in rap years. I love Rhythm of the Night as a samba and really didn’t expect much from him. He surprised me with decent hip movement for man his age. He didn’t look so much like grandpa at the wedding reception this time around. The joy of the dance shone through. A few mistakes, but his best dance of the season.

The Swan Lake thing of Nev and Jenna wasn’t my favorite of their dances over the season, but it was definitely a powerhouse of a paso. I don’t really know much about paso but I know phenomenal dancing when I see it, and I saw it. But, Nev. You shaved. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And damn if Justina and Sasha weren’t killing the cha cha. Sass and cheekiness for days is her signature and perfect for cha cha. She put it all out there, and, dang. Best of the first half. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Derek’s dance wiped the smile right off my face. So disappointing. Tapping doesn’t do a thing for me. I know it takes talent and artistry. So does portrait painting but I don’t want to sit and watch someone do it. I was hoping for something special. Well, maybe Bob Ross.

Freestyle

One of the things I used to like was the final practice when the celebrity would come into the studio and find huge posters of their best shots of the season on the walls. It was always a touching moment. None of that this year. I guess they blew the budget on Tyra’s bizarre getups. Not a great trade off.

I approach the Freestyle event with a bit of trepidation. I’m a bit of a traditionalist (surprise) when it comes to ballroom and the freestyle sometimes goes awry (like that stepping thing Big Girl from Glee did some years back, or the hip hop thing Apolo did). Tonight was a perfect example. I don’t care for rap or hip hop. I figured both would abound in Nelly’s freestyle and I was right. At least I got to ogle Daniella in her latest find from Peta’s dominatrix closet. And just  how many times has Nelly said ‘dope’ this season? There are ten billion words in English, how about expanding your vocabulary a little bit?

When Kaitlyn and Artem came out I expected something worthy of the finale and they delivered. It was an amalgam of dances, beautifully executed, an homage to the season. Nice, but it missed the wow factor. Artem should know better, but then again, he’s never won. There has to be a reason.

Nev and Jenna threw in what I call the wow factor. Something just a bit different. Other dancers have used the shower – Justina earlier in the season, Val dancing in his skivvies a few seasons back, etc.) But Nev and Jenna tied it to the music – Singing in the Rain. A simple melody everyone knows, iconic dancing that could have backfired, but worked beautifully for me. Cute, bouncy, engaging and just a happy feeling dance.

Let’s Get Loud has to be one of my most favorite cha chas ever. Sasha had Justina working it, using all her jiggly parts and releasing the inner Latina. It was sexy and sassy. But she was slow. She seemed a little behind and it came across as tired. It lacked enough wow factor also. But she’s always a fiesta and makes me smile.

I forced myself to watch Nelly’s musical performance. I was appalled. If this is what passes for good music we are truly doomed as a species. I was amused at some of the camera cuts of Derek. He never looks more nerdy white than when he tries to be a homey. Give it up, Derek. Your whole family doesn’t have a molecule of melanin among you.

The final result was disappointing but as I called it. I looked back at my posts and I called it on week 2. I put Nev, Justina and Kaitlyn in the finals and Kaitlyn winning because of Bachelor Nation even though I thought Nev was the better dancer.

I rank the season as a natural disaster hampered by unoriginality, fatigue, lackluster celebrities and Tyra. If there is a season 30, I may not be watching.